I have lived in cohousing for 10+ years and was part of development for 9 years before that. I offer workshops, retreats, facilitation, one-on-one consultation, and conflict resolution for cohousing and intentional communities, in-person and online. My style is highly interactive, uses real examples from many communities, and presumes that you are the experts on your own situation; my role is to tease out what you know and how you can use that information to in new ways. I fine-tune all workshops and retreats to meet the specific needs and culture of your group.
TALK TO EACH OTHER: Resolving Conflict by Connecting.Resolving most conflict requires a reconnection of the conflicted parties. But how do we get them to talk to each other? What should we say? What are we listening for? What if they refuse? We’ll discuss the how to help your neighbors engage with conflict. 1 hour presentation or 3 hour workshop with guided practice.
GOT CONFLICT? Living with, and helping with, conflict.With people comes conflict. We will wrestle with when you can help, what are personal vs. community issues, what to do to help, what is privacy vs. secrets, and when to call in outside professionals. Introductory family systems theory, sharing our experiences, some work on real cohousing scenarios. 3 hour workshop, 5 hour workshop with work on scenarios, or two day retreat with guided practice sessions.
CREATING A CONFLICT RESOLUTION TEAM.It's cohousing--you are going to have conflict. How willyou handle it? Should you create a conflict resolution team? What will it do? Who will be on it? What are the benefits of having a team, what are the risks? What is the scope of work or mandate of the team? 1 hour presentation or 3 hour workshop.
INTERPERSONAL CONFLICT: I facilitate meetings between individuals and/or teams to identify the areas of conflict or resistance, to address individual needs, fine-tune mandates, and if necessary re-organize your team so that you can get back to focusing on community. Often one to two hours of individual consultation or a two to three hour team meeting is all that is needed to get back to effective working relationships.
FACILITATION: The art of organizing other people talking. The goal of the facilitator is to guide group process and to bring out other people's thoughts, ideas, and feelings. Learn strategies to avoid becoming the presenter, by leading too much, or becoming a follower, by leading too little. Practice dealing with conversations that go off on tangents, with people who talk too much or hardly at all, with balancing the flow of emotions and facts. Discuss which strategies get what kind of information and how to plan meetings for optimal outcomes. 3 hours to 3 days, depending on your communities specific goals.
RETREATS. Take time for your community or a group of teams to get to know one another more deeply, and learn strategies for staying focused on your mission and values with a one day or weekend retreat designed to fit your community. Develop a plan or adapt your story. Imagine a new path for the future. Appreciate a successful program. Depending on your community's style this will include kinetic activities, mindfulness time, individual reflection, group discussion, and skill development for effective long term connections.